Why Men Stray
by: jameswalsh
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Word Count: 804
Some men stray and there are a few who don’t. Non-conformists would argue that marriage is a man-made institution and the natural state of being of a man is to be polygamous. Arguments apart, we respect and commit to marriage and, therefore, are expected to conform to its rules. Then again, many think rules are meant to be broken and so we have men who stray.
<b>Dysfunctional Childhood</b>
A person’s childhood defines the adults they become. Therefore, so much emphasis is laid on good parenting and setting a good example for children. If a man has been witness to a philandering father, he is likely to pattern himself along the same lines. Especially if a boy idolises his father, he might want to be just like him. He may grow up thinking it is acceptable to stray.
If a boy’s parents have had a bitter divorce, his growing years may have been unsettled and confusing. He might grow up without too much respect for relationships and commitment. This lack of respect can lead a man to straying. He may also need and crave attention which leads him to seek it from different people.
<b>Demanding Careers</b>
Demanding careers can keep men away from home for long periods of time. In this scenario, it becomes easy to have flings while on the move, as one feels distanced from home. Men who are powerful and successful have a lot of female admirers who they are not always able to resist. In fact, strangely, powerful men almost flaunt their infidelities as if it is expected of them.
Travelling and jet-setting lifestyles throw men in the company of many attractive women. There is a tendency to think that what a wife doesn’t know won’t harm her and they give in to the moment. Some men become habitual philanderers while others might have the one long affair.
The work environment also involves working with members of the opposite gender at close quarters. Constant interaction and long hours spent together can lead to attractions that lead to affairs.
<b>Unhappy Marriage</b>
Some men do get married with good intentions only to find that it isn’t what they expected. If a wife is not supportive, constantly arguing and not giving a man any space, he becomes dissatisfied with his marriage. The situation can get so bad that they may stop having a physical relationship. This lack of understanding and lack of intimacy can drive a man into the arms of another woman.
Sometimes, women can be extremely possessive and suspicious. When a man senses distrust, he is inclined to behave in a manner that justifies the lack of trust. Sometimes, a man may stick on in the marriage just for the sake of the children but have no feelings towards his wife. In such a situation he can be drawn into an affair very easily.
<b>Falling in Love</b>
We would all like to believe that feelings will always be constant and circumstance will remain the same. However, reality shows us that change is the only constant. The feelings that two people have for each other when they commit to marriage, could change. This change happens due to different reasons and one finds that one is stuck in a loveless marriage.
It is quite possible for a married man to meet another woman and fall deeply in love. He might be at a point in life where he finds greater compatibility with the new woman than his wife. Being in love can make a man stray from his marriage in the hope of finding happiness.
<b>Conclusion</b>
Relationships are complex and many factors are involved to make it work. It is easy to become judgemental and tarnish all that doesn’t conform to commonly accepted situations as bad. Ideally, we would all like to believe ‘happily ever after’ stories where people remain deeply committed and in love. There are men who do stray without too much thought and are basically promiscuous. One would like to think that these men should remain bachelors and carry on with their free lifestyles.
There are men who have honest intentions of being faithful to their spouses and who in a moment of weakness stray. There is no single reason for why men stray but it is an accepted fact that they do!
About the Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
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