Consequences of Divorce for Women
by: jameswalsh
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Word Count: 838
Married couple enjoy a certain social status and respectability in society as legally wedded husband and wife.
Seeing a happily married couple is a good feeling. One assumes they have a nice family home to go back to after work where their children would be waiting for them eagerly. Children too would be contented living with both the parents and getting a healthy and normal upbringing.
After divorce all this changes. The family breaks apart suddenly. Partners have to move out of their family home. Children get to live only with one parent. There is a division of marital property among the spouses. The husband has to pay maintenance to the wife so that she can support herself. Different family members take differently to the new situation they find themselves in. Women face unique problems of their own after divorce.
Financial Issues
One of the biggest issues facing women who have separated from their husbands is financial. Women compared to men are family-oriented, not job-oriented. That is why even when women already doing jobs get married, many prefer to leave their work and become full-time home-makers. Quite a few keep continuing with office career till they have children.
Almost every woman prefers remaining at home for a number of years to devote herself totally to the upbringing of their children. Thus, the career prospects of women take a major knock after getting married. However, their peers at office jobs have meanwhile moved on in their careers and accumulated more experience. This is why after divorce women find it difficult to re-enter their careers. If they get a job, it is much less paying than what their former colleagues would be getting.
If the husband is not paying sufficient maintenance to a divorced woman, it becomes very difficult for her to meet expenses, especially if she has children. She not only has to fend for herself, but also has to ratchet up enough money to meet educational and other expenses of children. Then there are other things like house rent, grocery and payments to the baby-sitter.
Psychological Issues
Divorce gives rise to not only financial issues but emotional issues too. Separation from one’s spouse and break-up of the family can rattle anyone’s composure. Women, being more family-oriented, take this especially hard. They may get enveloped in negative feelings of guilt, remorse, anxiety, insecurity about future, and depression.
Some take to alcoholism while others have to take professional counselling to come out of their condition and lead a normal life. They may become listless and suffer from a general lack of interest in everything. Children too sense this change in their mother and become disturbed or insecure as she is their only anchor left in life.
Bringing up Children
After divorce, child custody is usually assigned to women because children are considered to have a stronger bond with their mother than their father. Single parenting raises issues of its own. Presence of both the parents is critical for the normal and healthy upbringing of children. Fathers have their own role to play in a family. They offer guidance and discipline to the children along with a sense of security and protection to the entire family.
Boys especially need their presence. Staying with their mother all the time will suppress the masculine side of their personality. Women have to be very careful bringing up children alone. They also have to play the role of father to them. Boys should be encouraged to mix with other boys of their age. Also, single mothers have to take care that children are well attended to while they are at office doing their job. Kids should not get a feeling of having been abandoned.
How to Cope
Single mothers cannot bring the kids up in isolation. They should join a single-mom’s club and share their experiences with other women who are living the same situation. Friendships are struck at such clubs and women learn to help each other in an emergency or taking care of other’s kids when their mother has to go on some urgent work.
It is also important for single mothers to take care of their health as single-parenting can be quite hectic and exhausting. A good diet is very beneficial as well as occasional self-pampering at a salon. The more social you are and the more friends you have to interact with as a support network, the easier it will be for you to cope with the after-effects of divorce.
About the Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
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