Extramarital Affairs and Divorce
by: jameswalsh
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Word Count: 776
These results are in keeping with the government statistics too – which show infidelity as a rising cause for divorce in the UK – for the past seven years. It seems that 75% of the cases had a man – who is not so young anymore – straying from the conjugal bed. Just in case this has feminists feeling slightly better, extramarital affairs are on the rise among women too. Infidelity is a common factor for fall-outs in cohabiting and same sex relationships too, though the statistics are not so readily available in these cases. Infidelity is a major factor for divorce in the US and the EU nations too. All religions have traditionally condemned adultery, and punishments prescribed are quite severe. In fact, there is no culture where infidelity is not loathed.
<b>The Causes </b>
But why do these affairs happen? We are not talking of forced marriages here or situations where a nubile young maiden is forced to marry an old sheikh with nine other wives. Two people have chosen each other voluntarily, and then sanely taken the decision to seal their relationship with a vow never to part from each other. Human beings have emotions and a wonderful object called the brain that governs them. So it is natural that they will admire other people of the same or opposite sex apart from their partners. But does this also mean that they would want to get involved, physically and emotionally with them? And, they would give up their existing family to build a new one? The reasons behind extramarital affairs are not so simple as we would like to believe. Literature and films still hold on to the old image of the seductress breaking the family of a rich man, or the suave and dashing married man running away with a beautiful woman, leaving his wife in the lurch.
<ul><li>In fact, momentary affairs maturing into an enduring second relation is relatively rare, and more plausible on the silver screen than in real life. Yes, it is true that the older male – younger female matches still happen frequently enough in the corporate circles, and are cited as the ground for divorce, but these relations are usually transient. The people concerned wanted a way out of marriage, and were probably eagerly waiting to welcome the excuse of an affair in order to flee it. </li>
<li>Mid-age crisis is a common factor for infidelity in both men and women. Many develop a deep sense of insecurity during this time, and try to look for people who can either tackle their fears or are on the some wavelength in some other way. </li>
<li>Marriages can die too. Many people drag on with a stale and cold marriage out of a concern for children, or worry about their social image, or simply out of sheer force of habit. An affair is like a new lease of life for them. It is the proverbial second chance to start things all over again. The daily routine of life can choke up one’s personality with the regularity of a prison regimen. There are two outcomes of such affairs. Either they begin and end as a wild fling, or they mature into a stronger bonding that has the freshness of love and the stability born out of experience. </li>
<li>A bitter or abusive relation often has the affected partner looking for love or solace elsewhere. This is usually a better option than continuing with a bad marriage. </li>
<li>The type of profession one is in, sometimes, decides matters of heart too. This is not a reference to the archetypal office romance only. The family or the partner of one spouse may not be very sympathetic or receptive towards the partner’s career and its demands. The ‘other’ man or woman may be a better choice where empathy is concerned. </li></ul>
<b>Going for Divorce </b>
There are many people who react in momentary anger and regret it through their entire lifetime after that. Before you decide to file for divorce, think twice, or even a dozen times, if necessary. It is going to be an important decision, and would be affecting several lives. No matter how awful it may seem, try to talk with your partner at least once. There are marriages that have come out stronger after an affair out of it, as both partners have realised the strength of their bonding again.
About the Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed <a href="http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk">divorce</a> see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
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